I don't think I'll ever get my chaos back. My beautiful thoughts that were broken into shards of jagged perfection that made me feel pure and alive. But that's alright. I don't need my chaos like I thought I did. I will miss the art and philosophy that came from it, but there will be new art, and new love, and new philosophy, because if there's one thing you can count on, it's that you can change. And I changed. I've morphed so much these past years that I don't recognized the person I was, and I can't relate my past self to the person I have become. Bit it's ok, and I'm starting to accept it.

Maybe one day I can find the beauty in me to write again like I did about that boy, and maybe one day I will find someone who inspires that passion in me.

For now, I will continue dreaming.